BONE HOME

Welcome to the realm of Defrightful Industries.  This Website is devoted to one thing.  It's up to you to figure out just exactly what that is!

Our Spew

We here at Defrightful Industries are dedicated to bringing you the very worst in jewelry, furniture, and other defrightfully decadent, useless products.  It's just our way of spreading the spew.  But be careful, you might get some on ya.

Company Profile

Defrightful Industries was established in 1836, by a man with a vision.  Granted, it was a blurred vision, but a vision nonetheless.  His name was Dr. Ebenezer Abolitious Defright (D.E.A.D).  A shrewd business man, Dr. Defright revolutionized the common labor and workforce problems which, at the time (and continues to this day) plagued big business, by having only those that were already dead as employees.  This eliminated the pesky issues with safety, wages, insurance, retirement programs and vacation schedules, just to name a few.

Dedicated to providing his customers with exorbitantly overpriced, poor quality products and dreadful service, Dr. Defright worked his employees literally "to the bones."  Arguably, he was instrumental in setting the standards which are still utilized in today's business world, and are certainly the standards here at Defrightful Industries.

COMING SOON: "How do they do it?"  -  an in-depth look at the Defrightful process. 

COMING SOON:  "Take a tour of our facilities." - go underground on a fascinating VIP tour of this one-of-a-kind facility.

Contact Information

Telephone

Enter our endless loop of defrightfully annoying, automated messages such as:

            "All of our customer representatives are busy at this time, please hold"

  and a defrightful selection of tacky elevator music, with numerous product spews

            scattered throughout.  As an added bonus; when you call, your telephone number

  is automatically entered into our state-of-the-art computerized random dialing

  system.

 

When you call the first time, you will also automatically be eligible to receive our exclusive Spew-o-grams, which conveniently charges your telephone account for the collect call (plus a phenomenal service fee) and spews useless information about our products and services at only the most inconvenient times.

           It's our way of spewing thanks on our customers.

Sooo... what are you waiting for?  Call 555-1313 today, and join the thousands of dissatisfied customers.  We're waiting to hear from YOU!!

Postal address

Electronic mail

General Information: 
Sales: spewalloverya@defrightful.com
Customer Support: yeahright@defrightful.com
Webmaster: hmfic@defrightful.com